This was in 2010ish and I was working in the electronics section on a closing shift (I’m reasonably sure it was a Sunday since that’s when most of this crazy stuff happened). Let me set the scene…
We were a while from closing and there was a sale on 360s. A guy walks in and wants one of the 360s (mid 20s and wearing a baggy white shirt with a ball cap). We had had incidents where customers were offended by us checking the seals in front of them so I commonly would check the seals on the way to the counter as is was easy to do without drawing attention to it. It should also be known that the store did not take back systems and our boss was really good at making sure that if one was taken back it was thoroughly inspected (by me or one of the other gamers) before it was reduced and put back on the shelf. This system had no reduction sticker and the seals were not cut so this system was new and unopened. I rang the customer up and he left… all was good… till he came back an hour or so later.
Now we were getting close to closing and the customer from earlier attempted to return the system saying that it had been open when he bought it. I knew this was a lie but I looked to see if this was one of the shockingly large number of people who swap out the controllers and then try to return the system with the probably broken controller. It was.
I found irrefutable evidence that the controller was old but the system was new and matched the serial number on the box (always the first thing I would check). When I confronted the customer he became belligerent and this is par for the course. You never get innocent ones being aggressive it’s always the guilty ones. I was used to it and shrugged it off. Called the manager and waited. Our store manager was the best, always quick to help staff in trouble. When he arrived things went from bad to worse fast and soon the customer was threatening to kill me and the manager when we left that night. I admit I was hoping he would since it would save me a trip and a bit of effort… always great when dinner comes to you.
I finished my shift without incident and left, turning down the offer of an escort to my car, and headed to the back parking lot. Everyone always wondered why I liked to park in such a dangerous place and this is why… no cameras and no innocent people (at least at night). He was waiting there for me with a knife which was just what I was hoping for.
This is the point in our story where the squeamish may wish to look away…
I want to make something clear. I don’t kill people and I never have. It’s stupid and draws way too much attention but there are risks when you leave witnesses too. The way I would normally deal with witnesses is to make sure they don’t see me in the first place. There are lots of blind alleys and I’m very fast so I only need to get out of their line of sight and I can seemingly vanish. This is the same tactic I used this time. I pretended to be terrified and I ran towards the trees with him following close behind. As soon as I hit the dense foliage created by two trees I jumped up and out of sight. I waited in the shadows till he passed through and out of the sight of any casual observer. Once he was I dropped down on top of him and pinned him face down on the ground. It happened fast and he never even had time to yelp. He was quite the fighter, which was not much of a surprise, but considering what an ass he was I was kind of glad he was terrified.
This is where I have to step out of the story for a second. I know I said that I wouldn’t hold anything back but it’s surprisingly hard to talk about this as it’s something we are so used to keeping secret. If you’ll bear with me I’ll have to work up to talking in depth about the most private part of our existence (and the reason that we are feared by humans, forcing us to hide).
In this case the ass survived with a bit less blood and some new piercings to commemorate his brush with a vampire. Don’t worry, he won’t turn but maybe he will be more wary walking into the shadows.